These two pieces of research have the power to transform your dating life, in the best possible ways. Does playing hard to get actually work? And what is the single quality people are most looking for in their search for love? Stay tuned to the deeper dating podcast to find out. Hello and welcome to The Deeper Dating Podcast. If you want to learn more about the deeper dating approach, and how it can speed and ease your path to finding love, just go to deeperdatingpodcast. Also, everything I share in this podcast is educational in nature. So, we want the real stuff. We want the science. The first finding is from an evolutionary psychologist whose name is David Buss.
Why ‘playing hard to get’ may actually work
Maybe you’re the type who tends to take off first thing in the morning after a one-night stand, or who lies about your busy schedule in the week ahead, but doesn’t indulge your prospective partner with the details. When dating, single people often deploy tactics like these to avoid coming off as clingy or desperate. Playing hard to get, the theory goes, makes you seem far more attractive. It might make you feel sly, but does that carefree attitude actually work to anyone’s benefit?
It’s a great idea to play hard to get if you’re not looking to make an honest connection with another person Is it possible taking things too slow is bad for dating?
Our mothers used to tell us to play hard to get to attract the attention of our first crush, but science has revealed there may actually be some truth in that basic strategy. While playing hard to get is a strategy adopted by many to attract a partner, previous research has failed to confirm whether playing it cool actually works and if so why. Read more: What is ‘zumping’ the new dating trend coronavirus lockdown has spawned? So the new research set out to prove whether viewing a prospective romantic partner as playing it hard to get kicked off sexual desire for that partner.
Were trying to make the best deal we can. But playing it cool is seen by some to be a bit of a risky play, with many worrying it could put off prospective partners who fear being rejected. A better strategy, therefore, could be to try and merge the two, playing it cool, while at the same time trying to remove the uncertainty and fear of rejection for wannabe mates. Read more: How to date during lockdown. Birnham advises to show initial interest in potential partners, while not revealing too much about yourself too soon.
So by all means play a little hard to get but remember to offer a glimmer of hope to potential partners that their efforts might pay off in the end. There is such a thing as playing it too cool ya know! No matching results for ”. Tip: Try a valid symbol or a specific company name for relevant results. Finance Home.
Dating Games: Playing ‘Hard To Get’ Really Works, Study Confirms
Playing hard to get may seem pointless, but it’s not. When done correctly, it gives the relationship a bit of extra excitement. The problem with playing hard to get is that it backfires sometimes.
16 men explain what they think when a woman they’re dating plays hard to get.
Sign Up! Men apparently, love the chase. We browse through a plethora of guides on dating and almost each one tells us to present ourselves as a challenge. Because playing hard to get is definitely regressive and messing it all up, for women. This whole shady concept comes from the scientific fact that the pursuit of sex stimulates the reward centre in our brains. Apparently, buying your affection with gifts and flirting elevates the dopamine levels in men who, as a matter of fact, thrive on this feeling!
Playing hard to get might be a terrible idea if you actually like someone — here’s why
Increase how much he wants you. Want to boost his desire to get to know you? Playing hard to get only works if someone is at least a little bit interested. After all, why work hard for something if you never wanted it to start with? Guys are still surprised when they find an independent woman.
One of the most frequently used dating tactics is “playing hard to get,” or purposely acting cold and even mean toward the person we’re interested in. But, does.
Subscriber Account active since. You will probably have heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get. It’s a common belief that acting aloof and unavailable will drive someone crazy, and right into your arms. If you’re looking to attract men, this course of action is considered particularly effective. But if scientific research is anything to go by, it’s nonsense. In the s, a series of studies led by American psychologist Elaine Hatfield looked into whether playing hard to get really works.
Social psychologist Viren Swami highlights the findings in a blog post for Refinery In one study, male participants were told to phone up a woman who had been selected with a dating service and ask her out. Half the time, the woman would be busy and dismissive until finally accepting, and the other half of the time she would enthusiastically accept the invitation. The men didn’t seem to prefer the women who had less free time.
In fact, there was no evidence at all that playing hard to get made them more desirable. Of course, this was the result under experimental conditions.
The Scientific Reason Playing Hard To Get Actually Works On Most People
When a woman plays hard to get, she knows that it will be much more beneficial to her than being too easy to pick up. A woman will play hard to get because it will allow her to find a very confident guy confidence is irresistibly attractive to women and it will usually make guys want her more and value her higher than other guys. I really like her. A woman who plays hard to get will often hide her true feelings and get a guy working hard to keep her attention because she is insecure about her attractiveness.
In other words, women ACT like they are hot stuff and that a guy would be so lucky to be with them, but deep down, almost all women are insecure about their attractiveness to guys. A lot of this has to do with the way that women are presented in magazines, porn and advertisements.
Science has confirmed the truth behind one of the oldest rules of the dating game: when women play hard to get, it’s makes us want them more.
Playing hard to get is the oldest dating ‘trick’ in the book, for sure. Whether it works or not is a totally different question, because while some people might love the thrill of the chase, others just value honesty. Here, 16 guys explain what they’re really thinking when a woman they date plays “hard to get”. Because it let me know right away that she was not mature enough to be in a relationship. Huge time saver. Otherwise, I am not in for some BS game.
If she is actively making it more difficult to date her then I’ll find someone else. If you act uninterested, I move on , not try harder. Unless your intention is to attract some desperate guy, I don’t see how it’s a good strategy. If I’m already interested then you don’t need to inflate your value by ‘trying not to look too easy’. You’re not a sticker price on a used car, you’re a person. You don’t have to use sales tricks for me to value you.
The girl I’m seeing now, I started seeing exclusively because she was easy to get, and enthusiastic. I like it.
Does Playing ‘Hard to Get’ Work?
Dating Games: Playin Now, any good general will tell you every battle requires a sound strategy. Similarly, many people employ their own strategies and approaches when it comes to attracting and chatting up that special someone. But, does playing hard to get really work?
I’m sure every woman involved in the dating scene has, at one time or another, heard the concept of “playing hard to get.” In order to make a.
Years ago, at the very beginning of my quest for sensible input on dating, I read a book on how to get a guy. Bottom line: play hard to get, as hard to get as you can. The reasoning behind it: men love a good challenge and the more you distance yourself from them the harder they will work to catch you. Needless to say, I was still single long after reading that book. I was it. I was quite impossible to get, as men I dated or encountered back then will testify. Well in my head I was but in my behaviour?
Playing Hard to Get Is Effective, According to Psych Researchers
We tend to like people who like us—a basic human trait that psychologists have termed “reciprocity of attraction. Yet, making the chase harder also has its advantages. So which one is the better strategy? A pair of researchers from the University of Rochester and the Israeli-based Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya have spent the last few years studying the dynamics of human sexual attraction.
In a study , they found that when people feel greater certainty that a prospective romantic partner reciprocates their interest, they will put more effort into seeing that person again.
Years ago, at the very beginning of my quest for sensible input on dating, I read a book on how to get a guy. Bottom line: play hard to get.
Last Updated: March 22, References. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 1,, times. Learn more The best way to play hard to get is to actually be hard to get. Give your crush space by spending some time apart from your phone and let your crush be the first one to make major moves.
Keep yourself busy with hobbies, self-care, and dating other people if you feel comfortable. Boost your confidence by spending time with friends and family who love you. Every day at wikiHow, we work hard to give you access to instructions and information that will help you live a better life, whether it’s keeping you safer, healthier, or improving your well-being. Amid the current public health and economic crises, when the world is shifting dramatically and we are all learning and adapting to changes in daily life, people need wikiHow more than ever.
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Or maybe you’ve already nabbed your dream dude, but right now he’d rather watch the adverts during the test cricket than stare dreamily into your eyes?
Do you believe in playing hard to get and other dating mind games? I asked a bunch of my friends, plus a couple experts.
Here are 4 reasons why we are so over playing hard to get:. Ask personal questions, use their name frequently or share something about yourself with them. Catch up and create the base for a deep connection by ditching the tired and old practice of playing hard to get. Your consent is not required to make a purchase. It’s Just Lunch is the world’s 1 personalized matchmaking service. Our professional matchmakers provide an enjoyable alternative to online dating.
Playing hard to get is a flirtatious, natural, fun, sometimes difficult and intimidating course of attack. It is exhilarating when your suitor works for your attention; after all, nothing absolutely spectacular was ever easily accessible. And both the chase and catch feel good!
‘The Rules’, a much-hyped dating book published in the late 90s, encouraged women to play as hard as they possibly could. It’s since been.
Now, any good general will tell you every battle requires a sound strategy. Similarly, many people employ their own strategies and approaches when it comes to attracting and chatting up that special someone. But, does playing hard to get really work? While many of us probably have our own personal successes and failures with the hard-to-get approach, modern science is finally ready to weigh in on the debate.
Birnbaum and Reis have spent a number of years investigating the intricacies of human attraction and courtship. Moreover, even if it is a surefire way to find a Friday night date , why is it so universally effective? So, to answer those questions they set up three inter-connected experiments. The experiments produced a number of interesting conclusions. Finally, participants who were assigned to the hard to get profiles tried much harder to convince the person they were speaking with to talk or see them again in the future.
Going overboard while playing hard to get can cause the other person to see you as unapproachable or even unattractive. There must be some hope of reciprocation and courtship in the future. Like studies? Follow us on Facebook!